On change

One of the reasons I didn't go back to Sydney after my trip was that I felt myself go through such massive changes over there, the thought of just stepping back into my old world and the rut that I had created would have been almost disrespectful to the process I had gone through while travelling. Latin America shredded me. Totally dissolved all the protective layers I had built up around myself living in that city and having the experiences I had. It was about 6 weeks into my trip when I felt myself just basically fall apart and be completely vulnerable for the first time in years. It was awesome. Like I woke up.

Now, I'm treading water in lots of aspects of my life. Not that I am waiting for anything to happen, I've just returned to the centre. I lived so far one way for so long, then went so far the other way when I was overseas and now, well, I'm back to the middle and it's a place I don't know that well.

But as we all know, the only thing constant is change.

It's hard not to run away isn't it. I've been doing it for years. Quitting jobs, breaking up with boyfriends, moving house, never owning anything for fear that it will slow me down. Well this time I don't think I am going to run away. I want to change my ways and I'm working on it bit by bit.

Speaking of change, I'm going to change the music and have a cup of tea outside on the back step. It's a beautiful night out there.